Paging Dr. Mommy

From my family to yours - Merry Christmas! May you always find the joy, excitement and love of Christmas in your heart!

Well, I woke up today and noticed the world has not ended. I am grateful for another beautiful day and the promise of a wonderful holiday! The thought of the end of the world though is not a laughing matter. What would you do differently today, if you knew for certain tomorrow would not come? And why then, are you not living your life that way today?

Food for thought. 

I know that there are phases out there - I love trains, I love trucks, I love dogs, I hate trains, I hate trucks, I hate dogs. But the worst is when that hate/love relationship changes its focus to mommy or daddy. Right now we are in the ‘I want nothing to do with mommy” phase and its been going on for several weeks. My husband keeps telling me that it will pass, but its heartbreaking on a daily basis. 

I want the hugs and the kisses. I want to be the one our son runs to, at least some of the time. Sigh. 

I have no idea how other parents deal with this, but sayings its a phase is not a way to deal with it. It like telling a marathoner they are almost done - at mile marker 1.  I dont care if it will pass, I know in my heart that it will. What I want to know is how do I COPE with this at the moment?? 

The trials and tribulations of parenting, of motherhood - I am not sure if it really makes us stronger as it can break your heart a million times. 

Mommy, Mama, Mother, Mom….

This is an interesting point in life for me. My son is nearly 2 years old and the ‘novelty’ of being a mom is vanishing. Don’t get me wrong, I do love being a mom but this time of year really makes me think. We see friends and family we haven’t seen in ages and everyone asks the requisite questions: how are you? how is the family? what have you been up to? 

And so on. 

It’s the answers this year that get me. Family is healthy and together, can’t ask for much more than that. But how am I, what have I been up to? It makes me pause. How am I? What have I been doing? Um, I’m frazzled and fighting the urge to always wear sweatpants. I’m a doctor, but gosh, that doesn’t even really seem like its on the frontline of my answer anymore. I am a mom. I do laundry to no end, run errands and scan facebook and pinterest. 

And it is this answer that makes me realize the novelty is fading. I need better answers to that question. Why? Because it is who I am, even if no one else notices this anymore. 

I love being a mom, but when my son is 10 years old and asks what his mom is like, what she does with her time and what her life is like I want him to proudly answer that we spend amazing time together but that he has a mom who still loves to dress up, who visits friends, runs races, works as a doctor, travels, reads books and always has interesting things to do and talk about together. 

I am just one person, one mom and I know that there are many mothers who will never feel this way. To you - cheers and all due respect. Everyone is different and I love that. But for me, its time to find a little piece of myself again and to share that with my son. :)

Time, ever flowing forward regardless of the ebbs and flows of life. A force that cannot be reckoned with, reasoned with or bargained with. 

Time, there is never enough no matter who you are or how you try. The best moments of life are just that - a moment, a single grain of sand through the hourglass and then its just left as a memory. 

With so little time, the question today is - is it worth writing on here? Spending these few precious moments of time writing on a blog that I am not sure anyone reads. It does make me think.

What are your priorities, what is important to you? When 2012 comes to a close, will you regret how you spent your time, will you wish for more time with someone, will you wish you would have spent more time doing what you love?

As this year comes to a close, I challenge us all - find a few quite minutes, unplug from everything and just reflect on the last year. Rejoice in the amazing moments, cry for the loses and then take a few deep breaths and focus on what 2013 will bring. Create the life you want. 

Will I post again on here? Yes. It is an outlet, a way to have a voice and a way to force myself to focus on life, what is important and then to cast those thoughts into the ever-growing sea of social media. 

And so it starts - the first of many “graduations”. From the infant room to the toddler room. I know it seems silly for this to have much emotional impact, but it does. My little baby is just growing so fast!!!

These are exciting times though - he changes almost everyday. Learning, playing, teaching us who he is and what he likes. What a privilege parenting is.

Wait, toddler?!? 

How can my sweet son, who I swear was just born, be crossing over into toddler land?

But, its true. And now I am faced with planning and packing for our first family camping trip. Granted, it is car camping, there will be grocery stores and restaurants within a reasonable distance if we need them, but we are not talking about 1 weekend, we are going for a whole week!

I am SO excited to go camping, even though there will clearly be some challenges(ie can we get him to sleep?!?), because this is something that I did as a child, at the same campground!

Every summer I would go camping with my parents, grandparents and often even my aunt/uncle and cousins. These are some of the best memories of my childhood. Hanging out, swimming, boating, sitting by the fire at night and family dinners around a picnic table. We did, of course, spend time just as a nuclear family also, which bring equally amazing memories that make me smile every time. 

So this summer, we are taking my son camping at the same place, with his grandparents! To share this with my son(who I know will not remember) and my parents, who I know will love every minute, is priceless. 

But back to reality - this trip is in just a few short weeks, and I cannot even imagine how much we need to pack! In dire need of a list, I started searching google for someone who had already conquered this feat, and left advise. Here are a few of the more helpful links I found - 

http://morethanfourwalls.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/camping-with-a-toddler

http://www.nwf.org/News-and-Magazines/National-Wildlife/Outdoors/Archives/2010/Camping-with-toddlers.aspx

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I recently read a magazine article talking about “No Regrets Parenting” which took points from a recently published book and tried to advise parents on ways to maximize time with you children, to savor the moments and make memories. It really hit home for me.  So, I ordered the book from Amazon. 

Here is what I think: It is very easy to read, although has somewhat simplistic ideas and messages, it reminds us all that our best memories with our parents rarely involved technology - and yes, although the world has changed, we still had Nintendo! 

The ideas given are great reminders of ways to make time, spend quality time together and to create memories via multiple avenues. I find that even with a 14 month old, these ideas may not all apply, but some do. I think the book is best read when you have younger kids, the ones who still want to hang out with their parents, but it does cover all ages and there are ideas for everyone. 

I would recommend this to other friends and family, and I can promise I will be re-reading this book often over the next few years!

Final thoughts:

I look back on my childhood and I am so blessed to have so many wonderful memories with my parents, grandparents and extended family. I can only hope that I can give my son the same gift. If nothing else, this book may help me get started. 

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Here I am again, realizing how long it has been since I last posted something. I have been working long hours the last 3 months, but that is nearly at an end and more reasonable hours are now within site, and planning distance on my calendar!!

I just re-read my last post, and despite my efforts, I could write the EXACT same post again today. It is not the easiest thing to do, to balance work and life, set priorities and be organized. Especially when after being gone for work for 14 hours, all I really want to do is go home, play with my son and then veg out doing mindless things - watching a movie or TV, or just going to sleep. 

In the interim of failing to find balance, I have an amazing son who FINALLY has 4 teeth coming in, who just started walking in the last 2 weeks and is also starting to suffer from what I can only imagine is significant separation anxiety. 

My lovely laid back baby no longer wants to be apart from his father or I. He cries when he is left at daycare now, he cries when I walk 2 feet away from him. That is very hard. On the plus side, we are getting the best hugs and cuddles we have in months! 

As I think about the ups and downs of all of this, of life, I cannot help but think how fast it goes. Too fast. I try to remind myself to cherish the moments, even the hard and frustrating ones, because all too soon the time will be gone.